Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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