Say something about gay babies.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
