I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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