I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
