Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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