why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize