Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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