ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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