oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize