I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
