You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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