WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i will never coherently bang her
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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