Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
