Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
