please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We're too hungover to prance.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
