oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so let's talk penis.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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