How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
