Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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