Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize