I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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