new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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