everyone is single if you try hard enough
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
