WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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