This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
