i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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