How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
