I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
