Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's just like the Real World with babies
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
