my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize