sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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