I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
