you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
