the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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