I hate all girls vehemently.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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