why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
