You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
