So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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