wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
