gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
