So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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