Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
