there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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