what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
