At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
