I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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