Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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