the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
