Can i not drive my cunt home
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize