i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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