party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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