; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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