Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
