Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
