She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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