I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
