I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize