You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
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I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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