dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
