i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
