I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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