I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
A+ Viking dick
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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