is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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